So you finally meet someone who knocks you off your feet and makes you all tingly inside but now, it’s time to ask – “Is he serious about you?” You have a good feeling about this guy. Every time your dates end, you are looking forward to the next one. You are officially in love, but you are still not sure if he’s looking for a serious relationship (and you wish that he was).
Dating should be fun and exciting, but it should not stop you from looking for something more serious and secure. Someone who will share their soul with you, and honestly tell you about their thoughts will, no doubt, be serious with you.
If you are the type of person who yearns for a relationship where you will feel safe and comfortable, then you might want to ask some of these questions to the person who you think would be a potential boyfriend. Let me preface this by saying that you don’t want to turn this conversation into an awkward inquisition, or some twisted version of relationship interrogation. This should be approached with a relaxed and natural feel to it so you don’t end up talking with a defensive guy who feels he is being grilled.
Do you see us being together for a long time?
If he answers without hesitation, then that generally means that he is eager to get to know you more and spend time with you in the future. If you’re wondering; is he serious about you, I would take that as a pretty good sign that he is serious about you.
If he seems to dodge the question and attempts to deflect attention to other things, then he’s probably not sure about himself just as much as you are wondering; is he serious about you?
What was your relationship like with your ex? And why did it end?
The way he will talk about his ex, regardless of whether or not the relationship ended badly, can be very telling of how he regards people. Even though the relationship did not work out, there is still a respectful way of talking about someone who you were once in love with.
If he keeps calling her names and talking about her in a degrading manner, then it should tell you of how he may potentially talk about you to others when things go bad between the two of you.
How did you try to solve the problems that you had in your relationship with your ex?
If he says that he tends to avoid the situation, expect a rocky affair with him. If on the other hand, he mentions how he tried to talk it out with the ex and fix it by discussing the problem and finding a compromise, then it is a sign that he has good control of his emotions and should be mature enough to handle stressful situations well.
What is your ideal woman like?
To be able to tell is he serious about you, this may be a great insight into understanding. Does he have unrealistically high standards that you did not know about? How do you fare with his description? When it comes to meeting someone with whom you will fall in love, most of the time, our ideals melt away in the face of love.
We can forget our standards when we meet someone who does not conform to how we picture our future partner would be like but unexpectedly makes us fall for them anyway.
How many serious relationships have you had?
This should tell you if he is a guy who likes being in a serious relationship. But in this case, the lesser the number, the better. If you do find that he has been in a serious relationship before, or even a number of them, you need to evaluate how that makes you feel. If you are not comfortable with this, then he may not be your Mr. Right.
Would you change something about yourself if you were given a chance to? What would it be and why?
Whatever their answer may be, you will have a clearer idea of what they see as their main trait or quality which they feel needs improvement. This should tell you a lot about the kind of person that they are.
They may give out something that is a part of their physical body as the answer, which may seem shallow, but the way they explain why they chose that part can also help you determine what he is really like.
What is your relationship with your parents like?
How he talks about his parents is a realistic indication of how he was raised, and what the normal situation for him is at home. If he talks negatively about his parents then that may be a sign of unresolved family issues which may affect your relationship in the long run. His previous experiences will contribute toward his reactions in certain circumstances, and
His previous experiences will contribute toward his reactions in certain circumstances, and these, in turn, will feed his values, and how he interacts with you.
What are your friends like?
Most people would have you believe that you tend to befriend someone with whom you share a lot of things in common. This isn’t really what happens most of the time, although, you do tend to gravitate towards those with whom you are able to talk about similar things with.
If your prospective Mr. Right has little good things to say about his friends, you may need to consider a few factors that could be the foundation for this response. Is he trying to move away from a bad element and rebuild? Is he generally critical of other people, regardless of if they are friends or otherwise? Does his language make you feel uncomfortable? If you find that alarm bells begin ringing for you, listen to them. So, is he serious about you? This should help provide some perspective.
What is a “perfect life” like for you?
Does it sound appealing to you as well? If you feel like what he is saying is appealing and relevant to you, then that a great sign that your values and ideals might be aligned with his. If the picture he paints sounds like there is no room for you or any other woman in it, then take some time to consider what his motivations are. When trying to figure out is he serious about you, this may help you see if there really is a future for the two of you.
Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
This may sound cliche and overused, but it can give you a clear sign of where you might stand in the relationship. If he sees himself settling down with someone, or better yet, with you, that means he is not just fooling around and is seriously looking for love.
What makes you feel alive?
Everyone has this thing that makes them feel more than usual. It’s that one thing that motivates them to wake up in the morning and do what they do. This question can be something of a test of someone’s emotional and spiritual depth. It will also give you a better sense of who he is, which should give you more of an indication of if you would be willing to spend time with a person who has that kind of motivation.
Finding the answer to; is he serious about you
Especially if you are still at that stage where you are getting to know each other, this can be tricky. When done badly, it can scare him off, which is why it’s best to ask him questions that would allow him to slowly reveal his intentions and willingness to be open to you.
Of course, he may answer these questions to your liking, but a potential boyfriend will show you, in action and behavior, just how willing he is to be with you, beyond his words used.
Don’t rush through this, take your time and wait to see if he acts upon his words to satisfy your need to know; is he serious about you?